I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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