I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
