Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i will never coherently bang her
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
soo... how was my night?
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