he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
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He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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