You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
not ubering you a puppy
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
