Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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