I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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