I wish I could teleport
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
