i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
