I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
