if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
