As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
