i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
