So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Randomize
