I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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