she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
