Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
