She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
