Barsexuality is the new black.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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