So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
