WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
