im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
