I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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