he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
