I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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