Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
