Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
