i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
