so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude i'm inner monologue high
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
