Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
