I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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