remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
