I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.