Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
