You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
