Yo dont text me then not text me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
