Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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