im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
