Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
