their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
