I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
