I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
