he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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