Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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