I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We got so high we made milksteak
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
