operation harelip BJ is a go
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize
