I puked a lego.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
