so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
