i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
