Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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