I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
