i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
