if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize