Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
