thus making me awesome and them whores
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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