i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
