you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
