thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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