literally had 100 drinks last night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
