Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
