I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
