I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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