well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
