How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
